


Mother's Day Is For Everyone

by cynatnite



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Clint Feels, Clint Needs a Hug, Clint tries so hard, Coulson never stays dead in my fic, Doreen isn't a bad guy, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Mother's Day, Mother-Son Relationship, Phil comes back, Presumed Dead, Protective Phil Coulson, Secret of the hibiscus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 01:00:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10911072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynatnite/pseuds/cynatnite
Summary: Doreen Coulson loves her son. It's a perfect relationship as long as there are no outsiders. Then comes along Clint Barton.





	Mother's Day Is For Everyone

**Author's Note:**

> This has been on my brain and I intended to get it done before Mother's Day. It hasn't been beta'd so all mistakes and whatnot are mine.

Doreen Coulson was twenty-two years old when she met James Coulson. They were both in college, excelling at their selective majors and the love was near instantaneous. Doreen was always a methodical woman who chose carefully in every decision and how it would impact her future.

But James Coulson was a man who left her speechless at their first meeting. His smile lit up the room and he’d taken to her from the very beginning. It was easy to say “yes” to a first date and in less than six months right after graduation, they were married by a justice of the peace.

Doreen continued working after college so James could finish law school. It wasn’t a difficult task. She made an acceptable salary as an associate in an accounting firm. Three months before James passed the bar, Doreen found herself pregnant.

She was nervous at the prospect of motherhood and James was flat out ecstatic. The more excited he became, the more she found herself on the verge of panic. She knew nothing about babies. She had a younger sister whose own children came while Doreen studied halfway across the country.

Philip James Coulson arrived on the expected day. Once he was in Doreen’s arms, that innocent face told her everything. He would love her unconditionally. She knew it in her heart. While she would be as imperfect as they come, there was no doubt in her mind that Philip would be the perfect baby, child and someday…adult.

What Doreen didn’t expect was James dying. A semi-truck had lost control on an icy road in Chicago and as it jackknifed, several cars were unable to avoid the melee that followed, including James.

Philip was fourteen. Six months later, he said he preferred Phil. That was when Doreen quit seeing him as a child or even a teenager. He was a man.

Her son had just graduated college when he told her about the new job. It was a government position, but one she knew little about. It required him to relocate to New York City and Doreen considered moving as well, but the small brownstone her and James had raised Phil still had her heart. She remained and Phil promised to visit every chance. Doreen treasured the three phones calls a week.

Over the years, Doreen and Phil had built a routine. He came home most holidays and made special time for Mother’s Day weekend. It belonged to them and Doreen cherished all those memories with photos, notes and the adored gifts Phil would bring her. They would share a small breakfast on the patio with her blooming flowers that she cared for. She forbade him from repairs around the house for that weekend. Doreen ordered that Mother’s Day was not to be shared with frivolity such as a leaky faucet.

In fact, a neighbor who had moved into the home next door befriended her. After a few shared coffees, he’d seen to it. Thornton was a retired teacher and part-time writer. He was nice and Doreen didn’t mind his presence, but it never went further than that.

Doreen had been surprised her son was gay, but she didn’t mind. Her sister’s grandchildren were enough for her. Despite the loss of James, Doreen was content with her life. She remained busy volunteering at church, visits to the library and on occasion fussing at Mr. Ryan for his poor accounting skills that she worked on every few months.    

On occasion Phil would mention someone he was seeing. It was always in the middle of their extensive conversations and never anything more. Phil seemed just as content with his busy life as she was with hers.

_“Mom,” Phil said. “Didn’t you hear what I said?”_

Doreen adjusted her reading glasses hoping to make out Mr. Ryan’s handwriting. The scribbles made little sense.

“I’m sorry, dear. What did you say?”

_“About this weekend. I’m bringing someone. Clint. I’ve told you about him.”_

She set her glasses on top of the tax papers. “Phil, it’s Mother’s Day weekend. Did you explain we have plans?”

_“They could use a little adjustment, Mom. Besides, both of us have the time off together for once. I don’t know when we’ll get another chance.”_

“I see.”

_“Mom, he’s important to me. I’m sure you’ll see it once you meet him.”_

Doreen fidgeted with her glasses as she listened to Phil. This Clint had been mentioned a few times in previous calls. She couldn’t recall exactly what Phil had said. Her son was in his late forties and hadn’t shown much of an interest in a long-term relationship. It was likely this wasn’t serious.

“Of course, Phil. Please don’t mind your eccentric old mother who is far more forgetful these days. I will be pleased to meet him.”

_“Just don’t go crazy that your middle-aged son is dating a hot young guy,” Phil joked._

“I’ve never minded Lola,” Doreen informed with a smile. “Your young man should know he has to share.”

When Phil chuckled that was when Doreen was sure everything would remain as it was.

“When is your flight?”

_“We land about three. I’ve rented a car so you won’t need to fight the madhouse at O’Hare. Should be home by dinner on Friday. Clint and I are taking you out to the best restaurant in Chicago so don’t cook.”_

After they said their goodbyes, Doreen went about completing Mr. Ryan’s taxes. There was no reason to be concerned.

~*~

 

It was nearly six by the time the doorbell rang. Doreen took a breath, check her hair and dress before answering. She’d made the normal preparations that she would with any other weekend visits. She wasn’t about to go out of her way for a dalliance of Phil’s that wouldn’t last.

As soon as she saw Phil, he walked into her arms.

“Oh, Phil, it’s so wonderful to have you home.” Doreen almost always had a tear or two in her eyes at seeing her son. She stood back to get a better look at him. Sometimes he would come home so tired. This time, he looked well-rested and healthy. “You’re eating much better, I see.”

“Well, let me introduce you to the reason why.”

Doreen hadn’t even noticed the man standing behind him. The luggage was at his feet and he was shifting back and forth with a nervous smile on his face. Unlike Phil, he wasn’t wearing a tie.

“Mom, this is Clint Barton. Clint, my mother, Doreen Coulson.”

He held out his hand and Doreen shook it. “Mr. Barton, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Call me, Clint. Same here, Mrs. Coulson.”

“Thank you.” Doreen stepped back from the door. “Oh, silly me. Come in. Phil, you must show him where to put your luggage.”

Phil took a shoulder back and a suitcase from Clint who was left with a backpack.

“We’ll hurry,” Phil said. “Our reservations are in half-an-hour.”

Doreen watched as Phil started up the stairs with Clint following.

“No wisecracks about the memorabilia,” Phil warned Clint.

“Hey, not a word from me,” Clint jokes. “Unless I don’t get the Captain America pillow. Then all bets are off. Tony wants pictures.”

The banter continued up the stairs and Doreen closely watched them until they were gone. There was something different here, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

~*~

 

It was a nice restaurant with perfectly tailored waiters and gentle music in the background. The simple atmosphere of candles and good wine had relaxed Doreen. The Italian food was delicious as usual. Her and Phil had come here often during his visits.

She hadn’t realized she and Phil had monopolized the conversation while Clint used a fork to section his food on the plate. It had her attention for a moment until Phil spoke.

“Have you gone out with Thornton yet, Mom?”

Doreen laughed a little. “Of course not, Phil. He’s just a friend.”

“A friend that brought you a cake for your birthday?” Phil asked with a grin. He looked to Clint and laced their fingers together. Doreen’s eyes went straight to the intimate gesture. “Mom doesn’t know it, but Thornton’s practically in love with her. I’m sure of it.”

“That’s great,” Clint said. “Phil said he patched a hole in the roof during a rainstorm.”

Taking a sip of her wine, Doreen fumed at the notion of Phil telling this Clint about her personal life. A woman such as her doesn’t show it. That’s how she was raised.

“He did the same for Mrs. Polnitek across the street.” A change of subject was in order. “You and Clint work together, I assume?”

“Yes,” Phil answered. “We’re on the same jobs together most of the time. If it wasn’t classified, I’d tell you just how brilliant he is.”

“I have no doubt,” Doreen said with a level look at Clint. “Where did you attend college?”

Clint took a bite from a sectioned portion of his food before answering. “Um, I’m taking a few classes when I’ve got enough downtime. It’s online stuff.”

“I’ve heard that profit academia is unaccredited. A disgrace really.”

“It’s NYU, Mom,” Phil explained. “Clint gets college credit. His GPA is currently 3.95.”

Doreen nodded. “I was so proud of Phil with his high honors. Very commendable, Clint.”

She watched Clint move the food about his plate and finish a section of the pasta. It was odd to say the least. Doreen didn’t want to embarrass Phil by pointing out the behavior.

“So, Clint, are you from New York?”

“No, Ma’am. Iowa.”

“And what brought you to such a large city?”

He glanced at Phil and took a deep breath. There was some hesitation on his part. This man wasn’t as young as she had thought. Perhaps ten years Phil’s junior. He was still old enough to have earned some confidence. Doreen didn’t like it one bit.

“You know how life takes you to places you don’t expect to be. That’s how it was for me,” Clint explained.

The silence thickened and Phil had to say something.

“It’s a long story, Mom.”

“I don’t quite understand,” Doreen said. “I assumed Clint would have a similar level of education given all you’ve told me, Phil.”

“Mom, it’s just…”

“Wait, Phil,” Clint interrupted. He leaned forward and looked squarely at Doreen. The eyes were intense and unsettled her. “My parents were killed when I was a kid. After a stint in an orphanage and a few foster homes, my brother and I got in with a circus. When that ended I was a private contractor until I met Phil. Now, we work together.”

Doreen met the challenge in Clint’s eyes with a slight smile and a nod.

The remainder of the dinner continued a bit stilted and awkward even through Phil’s attempts to ease the tension. Doreen would be fully amenable to what her son wanted.

~*~

Whenever Phil came home, Doreen made a point of getting up early since her son was an early riser. She’d already bought the ingredients for their breakfast and was eager to present him his favorites of over easy eggs, scratch biscuits, strawberry preserves from Mr. Ryan’s grocery which Phil loved and a hot sweet tea they both enjoyed. By the time Phil comes down Doreen would have everything ready and they would spend the time making plans for day.

Doreen came into the kitchen surprised to see Clint working at the stove. She froze at the doorway and stared at the clutter on the counter. When Clint saw her, he turned, smiled and reached for a coffee cup.

“I didn’t think you’d be up this early,” Clint said. He poured a cup and handed it to Doreen. She absently took it before he went back to the stove. “Thought I’d surprise you both with Phil’s favorite breakfast.”

She still hadn’t spoken and watched Clint flip a pancake.

“Phil said you like eating on the patio so I got everything set.” He slid a pancake on top of stack already made. “It’s really pretty with the flowers. The weather couldn’t be better for it.”

“I see.” Doreen went closer to the counter. Bacon and scrambled eggs filled a platter. These weren’t Phil’s favorites at all. Perhaps she should have warned Clint beforehand. This was all wrong. She started to reach for the platter with the intention to explain it.

“I got this,” Clint said with an easy smile. “Go ahead and enjoy the coffee outside. Phil should be down any second.”

He had the food in hand and was headed to the patio before she could speak. Doreen followed Clint and after he set the food on the table, he pulled a chair out for her. She took the seat and sipped the coffee. It was quite good.

“When Phil comes for Mother’s Day weekend, it’s usually on that day we eat out here,” Doreen informed him.

“Yeah, he told me.” Clint set a single rose in the small vase. “When I saw how pretty it was I thought that two mornings in a row ought to be even more perfect.” He sat across and poured himself a cup from the carafe. “This is just amazing out here. I can see why Phil loves it here so much.”

Everything was wrong. Clint had taken it upon himself usurp the entire weekend for himself. Her mother’s lesson screamed in her ears. “Good manners are your beauty”. She mentally recited it a few times to hide her distress.

“It’s a sanctuary of sorts for Phil and I,” Doreen softly replied. “It’s always been a special place since…” She stopped. The memory of Phil finding her in this place after James’ death came back. Doreen chastised herself for letting her defenses down. She raised her chin. “Thank you for the breakfast, Clint.”

Clint’s face brightened and at seeing Phil, he jumped to his feet. Doreen smiled when Phil gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Morning, Mom. Looks like Clint beat us both for breakfast.”

Doreen had raised Phil too well to comment on the mistaken breakfast. He complimented Clint and while it was delicious, she still wished for their time alone together. The meal consisted of Phil highlighting the sights of the city he wanted to visit.

It was easy to beg off and claim a day of relaxation at home. Phil believed her and she hated not being honest. Doreen wasn’t about to be the tag-along. It still upset her thinking about Phil going off without her.

A few hours later, Thornton unexpectedly arrived with two white roses. He held them out.

“You’ve said you wanted to see them. Happy Mother’s Day, Doreen.”

“Thank you, Thornton.” Doreen carefully took them in hand. “Please, come in for coffee.”

They went to the kitchen and Doreen poured them each a cup.

“It’s a very kind of you…the flowers.” Doreen felt a bit unsettled by the gift.

“I always cut Celia some from our garden when she was alive.” Thornton’s eyes twinkled. “It’s been years since she passed. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” They sat at the small table across from one another. “I’m touched.”

“Where’s Phil? I thought he’d be here.”

“Oh, he’s out.” Doreen smiled into her cup before taking a sip.

“With Clint?” Doreen nodded. “Why didn’t you go with them?”

“I’m a bit tired today. I didn’t realize Phil had spoken to you about him.”

Thornton chuckled. “He hardly talks about anyone else in his life other than you.” She must’ve had an incredulous look on her face and a bark of laughter erupted from him. “Doreen, Phil’s in love with Clint.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Thornton,” she scoffed.

“As I understand it, he’s never brought anyone home before. Sounds serious. Wouldn’t you say?” Thornton dropped a cube of sugar in his cup and stirred the coffee. “Phil brought Clint over this morning after breakfast to introduce me. They both were silly-eyed over one another.”

Doreen suddenly saw everything all over again from the moment Phil had arrived. There had been shared touches between them. Clint’s eyes would settle on Phil when he spoke. She saw the wonderment in them. Last night before going to bed, she had seen Phil leaving the bedroom with Clint in the doorway. Phil’s hand had held Clint’s cheek for a moment. She’d closed her bedroom door knowing that Phil was in search of an extra pillow. Doreen had not prepared Phil’s room for two.

“You must…” Doreen was having a difficult time catching her breath.

“Doreen, are you all right?”

She got to her feet.

“I’m fine, Thornton. Would you please leave?”

“You’re white as a sheet. Do you want me to call Phil?”

“No, just…I just need a moment.”

Thornton let himself out and Doreen went to the living room to sit on the sofa. This can’t happen, she swore to herself. She can’t lose her son. Doreen grabbed her cellphone to call her sister. Lacy would understand.

_“Hey, sis! Want me to wish you Mother’s Day first this time?”_

“Lacy, something happened. Phil…”

_“Is it Phil?”_ Lacy sounded panicked. _“Or Clint? He and Phil just got together!”_

“You know about Clint?”

_“Of course, I do, Dorie. We spent a few days with them on our vacation to New York last fall. I told you about it.”_

Oh, yes, Doreen remembered. Only it was a casual thing.

_“What’s wrong, Dorie?”_

“Nothing. I mean how could it be so serious this quickly?”

Lacy laughed. _“To hear Clint’s friend, Natasha, tell it. They were two idiots who didn’t know they were in love with each other for the last several years. It’s quite sweet, I think.”_

“You approve, I take it.”

_“Clint’s good for Phil and vice versa. You don’t see it?”_

How to answer that. Of course Clint isn’t good for Phil. Her son never needed anyone. She always needed Phil more than he did her. Liquor hadn’t been in the house for over thirty years for a reason.

“I should have,” Doreen muttered. “Lacy, I have to go. Phil will be home soon.”

Doreen hung up the phone before her sister had a chance to argue with her. 

 

~*~

 

Sleep just wouldn’t come. Doreen finally gave up sometime after midnight. She slipped on her robe and went to the kitchen. A cup of hot tea would help, she thought. After making it, Doreen went to the patio and found the potted hibiscus. She always wondered why she kept the plant with the bugs that she was often at war with. Behind it, Doreen got the pack of cigarettes and lighter. She sat down, exhaling a breath, then lit the smoke. A long drag and a sip of tea helped a little.

“Huh, I guess you really never know a person.”

Doreen jerked around and Clint stood in the doorway leading out to the patio. He wore sleep pants and a shirt she knew to be Phil’s. He stepped over.

“May I?” Clint asked gesturing towards the pack of Marlboro’s.

She nodded and watched him light up a smoke.

“I didn’t realize you smoked,” Doreen stated.

“I quit a long time ago.” Clint took the chair across from her. “Phil made me since it can interfere with job performance and I’m not talking about lung capacity either.”

“I see.” To be honest, Doreen didn’t.

“Phil hates the smell.”

That she knew.

“I told Phil I quit while he was in college. When I have difficulties sleeping, I will have one on occasion. The pack is at least two months old now.”

The only thing that passed between them for the next few minutes was the cigarette smoke wafting through the air. She had nothing to say to him.

“What’d I do wrong?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I must’ve fu…screwed up. Just tell me and maybe you and I can find a way to like each other for Phil’s sake.”

“You did nothing wrong, Clint. You have conducted yourself quite well since your arrival.”

Clint flicked the ash before taking another drag.

“Yeah, well, I’m still the unforgivable weed in your perfect garden.”

Doreen sipped her tea and blew smoke out of her mouth.

“You misunderstand me, Clint. You and I are but the smaller undesirable plants. I created as perfect of a world as I could for my son even though I don’t deserve to be in it. Neither of us are worthy of that. Phil has so much of his father…integrity, compassion, competence beyond my understanding and more.”

Clint leaned forward, his eyes more intense than at dinner the night before.

“So, who deserves to be in Phil’s world if it’s neither of us?”

“I have yet to meet the person,” Doreen answered in a low voice.

“It wouldn’t matter if I told you I’m not going anywhere. Me and Phil are forever.”

He must’ve seen the answer in her eyes. Clint stood and finished off the cigarette. He seemed to not know what to do with the butt.

“The hibiscus won’t mind.”

When she was alone, Doreen went to the plant and put her cigarette into the soil next to Clint’s.

 

~*~

 

The following morning, Doreen woke early. When she entered the kitchen, Clint was nowhere to be seen. She didn’t move for a moment. The pleasure she thought she’d feel as she made breakfast wasn’t there.

By the time she set the biscuits on the patio table, Phil had arrived with a bouquet of flowers. He gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I love you.”

“They’re beautiful, Phil. I never saw them when you came home yesterday.”

“Clint and I managed a little spy operation.”

“Have a seat and I’ll put these in water.”

Doreen went to the kitchen and as she arranged the flowers, she wondered where Clint was. She couldn’t imagine why he wouldn’t be here. Taking a deep breath, Doreen tried to shove the concern away. This morning was her and Phil, just the way she wanted it in the first place.

She left the flowers on the counter and joined Phil on the patio.

“I hope you enjoy your breakfast, dear.”

“It’s good.” Phil set his fork down. “Mom, did something happen between you and Clint?”

“Is he still sleeping? He was up so early yesterday.”

“No, he went for an early run this morning. Clint was quiet and I couldn’t get much out of him.”

“I’m sure everything is fine, Phil.” Her own reassurances sounded hollow, but she couldn’t bring herself to talk about Clint and everything his presence meant in their lives.

“Mom, I know I haven’t come out and said it. I should have and I’m sorry for not being more upfront about Clint. I love him and I want to spend my life with him.”

“That’s wonderful for you, Phil, but I worry he won’t be able to live up to your exacting standards.”

Doreen hated herself for what she was saying to Phil, but he needed to consider the relationship more carefully.

“I’m not sure I know what you mean? Clint is everything I want. I’m old enough to know that.”

“Yes, Phil, I do know. All I’m saying is that I love you so much and in my eyes, it’s difficult to imagine anyone being good enough for my son. You have a good heart and I don’t wish to see you hurt.”

“I know this isn’t easy for you, Mom, and I think I know why. Clint doesn’t know everything that happened and if he did, you’d be amazed at how much you two have in common.”

“Philip, please,” Doreen breathed. She wasn’t about to dig up old family business even if it was with her son.

“Just give it time, Mom. You’ll see. He’s perfect for our family.”

 

~*~

 

Late that afternoon, Doreen went with Phil and Clint to the airport to say their goodbyes. It was more difficult than she remembered on previous visits. She didn’t want to let Phil go and it took everything to keep from breaking down completely. Her son felt lost to her and he was moving on with someone else.

The taxi ride back home was as lonely as she had ever felt in her life.

 

~*~

 

Over the next several months, the phone calls became more sporadic. Doreen had come to realize the level of Phil’s secretive work and while questions were left unanswered, the calls became even more important. Phil was traveling all over the world.

It was polite to ask after Clint. She didn’t wish ill towards him, but it was difficult to not be jealous of the important place Clint Barton was in her son’s life.

The day the black SUV arrived, Doreen couldn’t tell you about the weather, what she had been doing or even what she had for breakfast. The entire world fell out of her orbit when the tall dark man wearing an eyepatch stood in her doorway. She’d heard Phil speak of him a time or two. His solemn presence spoke volumes as to his reasons for being in her home.

Doreen barely remembered the next two days. Lacy, her children and grandchildren arrived. Thornton was making sure she had something to eat and drink. He was throughout the house making sure everything ran smoothly. How she functioned, she didn’t know.

She went to the patio and found a new pack of Marlboro’s behind the hibiscus.

As Doreen smoked, she thought about the conversation with Clint that night. Then she remembered his story. Dead parents, orphanage and a circus. Phil held Clint’s hand and the strange eating behavior. Clint was a very adept cook. She recalled how he had carefully packed away their leftovers from breakfast. The containers were all labeled which included dates. Clint cooked and ate every meal with care as if he would never eat again.

The cigarette dropped to the ground when the realization dawned on her. Clint had been a starving child. He’d grown up not just poor, but in aching and distraught poverty.

But now that man was strong, courageous and forthright. He had climbed out of destitution and overcame the tragic life he’d experienced at such a young age. That was the man who loved her son. She’d been such a fool.

Doreen hurried up the stairs and found her suitcase in the hallway closet. Lacy emerged from the guest bedroom and followed her sister.

“Dorie, what are you doing?”

“Wake everyone.” Doreen opened her closet and rifled through the clothes. “We’re going to New York.”

“What?” Lacy exclaimed.

“I’ll buy all the tickets.”

“You’ve lost your mind, sis.”

Doreen stopped what she was doing and stared hard at her sister.

“We have to find Clint.”

 

~*~

 

It was supposed to be Stark Tower. The sign was smashed only leaving an “A”. Doreen should’ve been tired, but determination had taken over now.

“Are you sure this is the place?” Lacy asked. Her son and daughter stood close with the three children.

“I couldn’t reach Mr. Fury or anyone else. This horrible attack must have them out of reach.”

“We’re not getting in there,” Lacy’s son, Hal, said. The security is locked tight.”

Doreen stalked to the door and stood firm in front of the guard.

“My name is Doreen Coulson. I am here to see Clint Barton.”

“Ma’am?” the bulky guard questioned.

“I have seen the footage, sir. Clint Barton works with Mr. Stark and my son is Philip James Coulson. I demand you announce our presence.”

The guard shook his head and Doreen was sure she must have looked like a crazy old woman to him. He turned and picked up the phone. Doreen motioned towards her family and they moved close by.

The doors were opened for them. The guard pointed. “Elevators are right there, Mrs. Coulson. Mr. Stark is expecting you.”

The Coulson family went as directed and Doreen heard one of the children giggle in excitement over meeting Tony Stark. As they stepped inside, Lacy shushed her grandchildren.

“I hope that green monster don’t kill us,” another child whispered.

“Phil and Clint work with good people,” Doreen assured them.

The elevator finally stopped and the doors opened. When the Coulson family stepped out several people were waiting. Doreen recognized them all with the exception of one.

She was about to speak when a young woman walked over. Lacy rushed to her.

“Natasha, it’s good to see you. I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.”

The woman turned to Doreen and the stone-cold look from her said enough. Natasha turned to the rest of the Avengers.

“I’ve got this. I’ll see you later.” Natasha turned her attention to Doreen. “What are you doing here?”

“We’ve come to see Clint,” Doreen told her.

“No.”

The response was not unexpected. Lacy had explained that Clint and Natasha were best friends and practically family. Doreen had already surmised Clint would talk about that visit and her disapproval.

Doreen was having trouble with her typical stoicism.

“Oh, to hell with it,” Doreen muttered. She went to Natasha and looked her in the eyes. “You and Clint have every right to despise me for my behavior towards him.”

“Yes.”

“I need to see Clint…to tell him…I know how much he loves Phil and it’s important I tell him.”

“Tell him now?” Natasha looked incredulous.

“I didn’t know,” Doreen pleaded. The cry she was trying to suppress remained lodged hard in her chest. “I didn’t know until I lost my son! Phil died and I didn’t know how good Clint was for him until it was too late!”

Everything poured out of Doreen and the sob broke loose. She thought she was falling to the floor only to feel Natasha’s arms around her.

“I’m so sorry!”

The next thing Doreen knew, she was sitting on a leather sofa with Natasha and her family close by. There were tears on everyone’s faces and she didn’t feel embarrassed in the least for losing control. Even Natasha’s cheeks were wet.

A glass of water was pushed in her hand. After a drink, Doreen felt like she could speak again.

“If you could speak with Clint and tell him what I said,” Doreen asked.

“It’s better if it comes from you, Mrs. Coulson,” Natasha replied. “Clint pushed me away and I let him. I think it’s time to end it.”

“Is he here?” Lacy asked.

“No, but I know where he is.” Natasha stood. “Jarvis, have one of the SUV’s brought around. We’re all going.”

“Of course,” the AI responded.

~*~

 

The apartment building was old. Doreen wanted to smile. It was so like Phil to choose a place like this. She’d never come to visit. Her son always made the effort and she severely chastised herself for staying away. Doreen had so many regrets and it would have to end now.

She followed Natasha inside with her family trailing behind. Phil’s apartment was on the second floor. Natasha produced a key and opened the door. Once inside, Doreen studied the entire room. She went to the shelf while Natasha headed for the bedroom.

Next to the Captain America memorabilia were several photographs of Phil and Clint, happy and without a care in the world. All she’d ever wanted for Phil was happiness. She’d denied him that by withholding her approval of Clint. He loved Clint, but her actions pained her son. She was worse than a fool, she was an old one at that.

Doreen heard voices coming from the bedroom. She glanced at Lacy.

“This shouldn’t take long.”

She had no right to enter, but Doreen knew what she had to do.

Going through the door, she gripped her purse a little tighter. Clint was laying on the bed with his back to her and Natasha. His arms tight around himself as if he was trying to hide from the world and the pain of his loss.

“Natasha, if you please, I would like to speak to Clint alone.”

The woman left without a word and Doreen moved closer to the bed.

“Why are you here?”

The pain in Clint’s voice hurt more than Doreen had ever imagined. She set her purse on the dresser.

“The person we love most in the world was taken from us,” Doreen answered feeling shaky. No more cigarettes, she thought.

“You don’t even like me. I’m not good enough for him, never was.”

The abject misery rolled off him and Doreen could feel it on her skin. She went to the foot of the bed and sat.

“Phil was just a child when his father died. James filled a room with laughter and losing him was losing an entire world.” Doreen licked her dry lips and unclenched her fists. “I didn’t know what to do or how to live when James died. The pain seemed so endless. A doctor prescribed Valium to help me sleep. I didn’t like it much so I would have a scotch every night before going to bed. As time passed, one became two and my nights became days filled with misery and alcohol to numb it.”

Clint rose from the bed and sat next to her.

“Phil never said anything.”

“He wouldn’t. Phil was quite protective as I’m sure you’re aware. About six months after James’ death, Phil came home from school and found me passed out on the patio. I don’t even recall what time I had started drinking that day. He woke me up and sat me on a chair where the hibiscus now stands. Phil brought me coffee and stayed until I was myself. I never want to see the look in his eyes ever again. I think he was afraid that he almost lost me. Phil took care of me after that. He sometimes called from school to check on me. He would help with dinner.” Doreen huffed a bit of a laugh. “He found every bit of alcohol in the house and got rid of it.”

“That sounds like Phil.”

“Yes, it does.” Doreen wiped a tear off her cheek before continuing. “I let it happen, Clint. I didn’t stop Phil from taking care of me. He was a fourteen-year-old boy who became a man practically overnight because his mother was unable to.”

“You did okay.”

“Instead of being the mother he needed, I became a woman who needed her son more. I needed him so much that everything I did and said was so that he would remain with me. When he did leave every visit and phone call became special. My home especially was the world I made so that when he did come home, it was ours and no one else’s. I hated myself for manipulating him as I did.”

“Phil was a smart guy,” Clint said, his voice rough with emotion. “I don’t think either of us got much past him as we’d like to think. My dad drank a lot. It’s why him and mom died. I tried to fix it. Guess Phil was better at it.”

Doreen put her arm around Clint and pulled him close. She felt his head on her shoulder.

“Since Phil was a baby, I never felt good enough for him or James, for that matter. I always saw him as perfect and no one, not even me, was good enough for him. It wasn’t you, Clint. It was always me. I know that now. I’ve come to realize that you were always good enough for him. I’m so sorry I was too late to see it.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. He told me when times were the hardest, you always made it better for him.”

“Thank you, Clint. I want you to come home with me for a while. We need to give each other a second chance to get to know one another.”

“I’d really like that.”

Both stood and Doreen pulled Clint for a hug. She smiled when she felt his arms around her.

“We better get out there. Lacy and the kids are expecting us.”

“Everyone?”

“Yes, Clint. You’re a part of our family now and you’re stuck with all of us.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“What?”

“Phil wasn’t perfect. Not really.”

“Why would you say that?”

There was a bit of a smile and a blush on Clint’s cheeks.

“He’s won every belching contest at SHIELD for the last five years.”

“What?” Why had she not known?

“Yep, and I’ve lost count of the candy bar wrappers that I’ve cleaned out of his desk.”

“It seems there is still more for us to learn about Phil.”

“Yeah,” Clint agreed.  

 

~*~

 

In the weeks since, Doreen still mourned Phil. One time as she was fixing Clint breakfast, she began sobbing over the biscuit dough. He’d held her quite a while on that one. Doreen took out the photo albums and spent the next two hours with Clint on the sofa explaining every photo. Sharing stories of her life together with James and Phil brought them comfort.

When Clint finally headed back to work, he called every single day he was able. Doreen was back at work in her flower garden finding that it wasn’t as painful as she thought it would be. Her and Clint were working on plans for a vegetable garden.

Thornton asked her to dinner again. This time Doreen said yes. She groused to Clint that she was too old for romance. He returned the favor by crooning a love song over the phone. She loved it.

Four months after Phil’s death, Clint was granted a week off. The news had surprised Doreen and she made sure everything was ready. It included having a BBQ out on the patio with the entire family.

Clint was holding court over the grill and Doreen was happy that Lacy’s youngest daughter was showing a real talent with flowers.

No one heard the front door open and close. No heard the footsteps headed their way.

One of the children squealed and Doreen looked over. Not a sound could be heard because of the figure standing in the doorway leading to the patio.

Doreen moved to her feet in shock at seeing Phil who was as still as everyone else. She got to him and hugged him.

“God, Phil! Oh, God, Phil!”

“I know, Mom.” His face was buried in her shirt. “I’m sorry I hurt you. They had to make sure I wouldn’t relapse.”

She pulled back. “I don’t understand! How?”

“It’ll take some time to explain.”

Doreen grabbed Clint’s arm. He was still in shock and she propelled him forward towards Phil.

“Phil?” Clint whispered. “Is it really you?”

“I know about the hibiscus,” Phil answered with a smile.

Clint wrapped his arms around him. “I love you so damn much, Phil!”

Cheers of joy erupted as they kissed.

 

 

END

 


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